my own personal pandora's box
by mellamaet
Summary: natsume takes time for granted nxm forever! and a bit of rxh


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**Disclaimer:** i don't own any part of gakuen alice...unfortunately*sob*

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a certain raven-haired boy was sitting on the floor, waiting for the phone to ring, even if he knows that his efforts were futile, she would never call again, he would never hear her magical laughter ringing through his ears, he would never see her smile, that smile that penetrated his darkness and gave light to the dark little world that he resides in…

_At least she's happy, wherever she may be_, he thought, suddenly the phone rang disrupting his reverie,

"tch, who would be calling at a time like this?" he said to himself aloud, he checked his watch, it was 4:00 pm, a perfectly reasonable time for someone to call, still he was irritated because he knew that it wasn't who he was waiting for.

"Moshi moshi, hyuuga residence, who is this?"

"natsume, its ruka, why are you there?"

"Cause it's my house? Obviously" natsume replied, irritated by the obvious question

"I know that!" ruka retorted, "But aren't you going to you-know-what?"

"I will I'm just not ready to see her yet" natsume said with a bit of reluctance in his voice

"Your choice, but you know you'll have to see her sooner or later" ruka reasoned

"I know that" natsume said

"Do you want me to pick you up?" Ruka asked with concern

"Nah, I'll take my car, besides I don't want to ride with you and imai…no offense"

"None taken, ok we'll be leaving now, you know how to get there right?"

"hn"

"ok. Bye natsume"

"bye ruka" he said as he placed the receiver back in its place

_Ruka's right, but I can't bear the thought of not seeing her beautiful brown eyes looking at me filled with innocence and laughter just like the last time I saw her. _He thought

FLASHBACK

" natsume! Thank you for coming with me to visit ji-chan!" she said as she turned her beautiful, smiling face at him

"like I had a choice" he replied as he smirked and looked at her.

"hmp" she puffed her cheeks and looked away

He strayed his eyes away from the road for a minute to look at the girl beside him

_She looks so beautiful, the beauty of the countryside pales against her beauty_

"ne natsume, what are you staring at?' she said as she turned to face him

"tch, do you have to mind other people's business strawberries?" he smirked

It took mikan a few minutes to realize what he just called her….

"KYAA!!!NATSUME NO HENTAI!!" she screamed at him

"tch, polka, you're making my ears bleed" an irritated natsume replied

"may be if you weren't such a pervert your ears wouldn't be bleeding!" she retorted

"or maybe if you would just stop screaming at me it wouldn't hurt so much" he replied

Before mikan could reply, her phone rang

"moshi moshi! Who is this?" she asked cheerfully

"ji-chan!! You finally used the phone I gave you!' she exclaimed happily"

"yeah, natsume's with me" she said

"no ji-chan she couldn't make it" she said sadly

"ok, goodbye ji-chan; yes we'll be there soon, bye" she said as she hung up the phone

"what was that about?" natsume asked

"oh..that, ji-chan asked if you were with me and if hotaru was coming as well" mikan answered

"natsume, thank you again for coming with me to visit ji-chan' she turned and smiled at him

Before natsume could say anything mikan hugged him. for a minute natsume resisted the urge to kiss her.

Suddenly…

"yay! were here!" mikan said, ruining the moment, as natsume stopped the car in front of the house.

END FLASHBACK

_I would give anything to have that moment back again, anything…but it's too late for that now. _He thought sadly as he held a medium-sized crimson box

He checked his watch, it was almost time to leave, he placed the box in its original place, changed his clothes and shoes, grabbed his car keys and drove to mikan's funeral.

FLASHBACK

it was 3 o'clock in the morning, natsume was getting his well deserved rest after working all night.

Suddenly, somebody was knocking, very loudly at his condominium door

_Whoever is doing that is dead, I'm going to burn him to crisps and throw away the evidence._ He thought angrily

When he opened the door he saw koko, ruka and hotaru.

Koko, looked like he hasn't slept for 24 hours, hotaru looked like she had just finished crying, while ruka was consoling hotaru

_The ice queen? Crying? This can't be good._ Natsume thought warily

"what are you all doing in my condo? Natsume asked, no longer irritated, but curious

"natsume, I think you better sit down first" ruka said, stepping way from hotaru

"why?"natsume asked warily

""it's about mikan" koko said

"what happened to mikan?!?' natsume said; he was loosing his control now, he was starting to panic, but he tried very hard not to let it show

"mikan's dead…" koko said with grief and sadness

_No!!mikan can't be dead! She can't be! _natsume thought

"how did he die?" natsume asked

"car crash' koko said

Those two words sent shivers down his spine…

_If I didn't leave early…if I hadn't left mikan…if I stayed with her until the end of her vacation…she would be alive right now… he thought_

"how did you find out that she died?" natsume asked, surprised at himself that he still had the presence of mind to ask these questions

"her grandfather called last night in our apartment, he was asking to talk to mikan…I told him that she hasn't returned yet…he told me that she left two weeks ago" hotaru said her voice quavering

"so we reported to the police and they looked for her" ruka continued

"and they found her car smashed against a tree" koko said

"the mechanic at the police station said the the brake on her car was broken , she lost her brake and smashed into a tree" ruka finished fro koko

"natsume, are you ok?" ruka asked with concern for his best friend

He took a deep breath then answered him

"yeah I'm ok..you better take imai home though, I think she needs to rest" natsume said

"ok" ruka answered

he turned toward his room then said "you know the way out don't you? I'm really tired s you guys can show yourselves out"

"wait natsume!" koko said

"what?' natsume said, he really wants to be alone right now, but he fought the urge to burn koko to crisps

"the police found this in her car, it has your name on it" koko said

Koko gave the box to natsume and turned to the door

" goodnight natsume" koko said

"hn" natsume replied

When the door closed, he couldn't hold back the tears anymore while he held the crimson colored box. When he opened it, he saw pictures of him and mikan, varying from since they were at the academy up to until before natsume left, they look like husband and wife, with natsume wearing a business suit and mikan wearing a sun dress and an apron; there were also sakura flowers in the box , but what caught his attention the most is the letter with mikan's messy handwriting on top

_Dear natsume, _

_I love you_

_Mikan_

After reading that, he cried and cried and cried. He had never cried so much in his whole life…

END FLASHBACK

It was dark and the clouds were showing signs of rain. When natsume got to the funeral the service was over, she was already being lowered down into the ground. Some of the guests were already leaving, he waited until most of the people who attended the funeral already left, then he watched as the workers put the last grain of soil on top of her grave when he was sure nobody could see him he cried until it rained, when he was walking towards his car the cold wind blew softly against him and for a moment he swore he heard mikan's voice saying _I love you natsume, I always did. _He turned to find nothing but rain. But for a minute, he felt warm despite the rain, knowing that mikan now knew how he felt

"tch, she was always so dense" he said as he left.


End file.
